Not There Yet

I am reservedly grateful for some of the peaks and valleys in this journey. I wasn’t impressed with today’s time, but with my first event looming, consistency is the key.

And it’s hard. I have to fight my body, this wicked disease that creeps like a monster and looks for every opportunity to attack, to destroy my body. I’m winning, but daily realizing this will be a battle every day for the rest of my life.

And it occurs to me that I’m doing this right. This isn’t a 6 week plan, or a 12 week plan, this is a year commitment. And it’s about undoing not my physical limitations, but the mental hurdles that cause it.

It’s hard.

It sucks.

I wish there was an easier way.

Not being negative there, I am being honest. In a way I can be grateful that I am broke and always will be, because if I could buy my way to better health I would. This way, I am forced to battle the loneliness, the insecurity, the feelings of inadequacy, all of the mental problems that eat away at me just as fervently as the diabetes eats away at my body.

Some folks have asked me when I plan on writing a book. While I appreciate the sentiment, the answer is not now. When I cross that finish line, THEN I can reveal more about the journey. Until then I’ll be posting here regularly.

But I have miles to go before THAT sleep.

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